Somethings not right.
I go out to work, I have a good day, I do fun things, and im happy. I come home, and im unhappy. I sit at the computer andI listento my favorite music, and I talk to people, or I watch tv, or I pet my cat, but somethings missing and I dont know what it is.
It seems im always waiting for something. Always waiting, and always counting how much time has past since things I waited for happened.
one year since I moved out on my own, 3 months til school comes again, one year and one month since I met Mike, an indefinite time until he comes back, one month since Coachella, 11 til its Coachella again, two years since ive graduated, 12 months til Europe, 6 years since Ive lived in Nanaimo, 1 year 3 months til I dont anymore, 2 Months til I see Rufus Wainwright again..
I live in the past, and I live in the future.
I dont know what to do.
I go out to work, I have a good day, I do fun things, and im happy. I come home, and im unhappy. I sit at the computer andI listento my favorite music, and I talk to people, or I watch tv, or I pet my cat, but somethings missing and I dont know what it is.
It seems im always waiting for something. Always waiting, and always counting how much time has past since things I waited for happened.
one year since I moved out on my own, 3 months til school comes again, one year and one month since I met Mike, an indefinite time until he comes back, one month since Coachella, 11 til its Coachella again, two years since ive graduated, 12 months til Europe, 6 years since Ive lived in Nanaimo, 1 year 3 months til I dont anymore, 2 Months til I see Rufus Wainwright again..
I live in the past, and I live in the future.
I dont know what to do.
posted by Brianna @ 10:06 PM
6 Comments:
At May 31, 2007 11:10 AM,
Tarantula eyes said…
hey brianna
it seems the entire yukon is robed in your favorite color. i think of you daily.
the incecent counting down and counting from isnt necesarrily bad unless it makes you feel bad/sick. but i think memories and hopes are amazing things for the most part
there is however, a lot to be said for enjoying the moment you are living in now. I can guarantee there are some pretty amazing things going on around you.
i hopeyou start to feel better.
I miss you
much love
At May 31, 2007 8:21 PM,
Let Go said…
You know what, Brianna, I know exactly how you feel. I am always either thinking of memories, or excited for the future. I think of good times I've had, but also can't wait for the future. I guess it means I'm just not happy with my present? But I have fun, I laugh constantly and I love my friends. I think we're just in an in-between. We're waiting for life to really start.
In the meantime, you know I don't mind you talking to me about whatever you need, whenever you need!
At June 01, 2007 7:52 PM,
barbara_mary said…
I think you should get married.
At June 02, 2007 9:15 AM,
déjà~raine said…
hahahah barbara. i enjoyed that comment.
At June 24, 2007 2:17 PM,
VivaLaPinto said…
I understand. It's feels like being disconnected to the present. For me it's, only focusing on how much time left until the next rehearsal, shift at work, when I have to wake up, when I can go to bed, if I can get to bed...
Why can't it ever be about this minute?
I had a moment that was only about the moment during the thunder and lightning storm today, but it was a bad moment. A scary, lonely, directionless moment. I don't like lately. And I miss you. I wish I had enough strength for everything.
At July 11, 2007 2:15 PM,
VivaLaPinto said…
will you freakin POST already! It's not as if your life is boring! You're going out to dins with me and Gator tonight!!!
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