So excited for PROM!!!!!!

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

So what news would you like to get first? I suppose the bad. Well. After prom is ruined. Or maybe i'm overreacting. Either way, everyone knows how much I hate changing plans right? weeeell, plans are a-changing.

what the plan was: 1:30 hair appointment
2:30 makeup
3:30 Wine and Cheese @ Laura's
5:00 pictures
5:30 go to prom!!
6:30 dinner
8:00 dance
12:00 everyone goes to my house to change
12:30 Tims' crowds party (victor or kates)
2:00 Barbara's for the rest of the night.

But I found out yesterday that Barb's party is only going to go til 2, which is when the other one ends as well... this changes EVERYTHIN. I mean, isnt prom supposed to be this all night party with all your friends to commemorate all the fun times??? Now my night ends at 2.. this is the saddest thing ever. I guess a few of us will go to Laura B's house.. somehow that is just NOT the same. I mean, prom is supposed to be so special! But we have parties at Laura's all the time... And there wouldnt be any drinking, which I'M fine with, but a lot of others wont be. *sigh*... I KNOW I'm overreacting, but it is just so disappointing.

and note to Barbara, I dont want you to feel bad about this or anything, I know its not your fault, or your moms... its just one of those things.

anyways, onto the good news! Well, come to think of it, this news has negative potential as well.. but nevermind. Our choir got invited to Musicfest!!! isnt that exciting?? And because its in Vancouver this year, we SHOULD be able to go! it would only cost 71$ for registration and the ferry ride, but a whole bunch of loser whiners in the choir were tlaking about how they couldnt pay that. Theyve got like, a month to fundraise! if they really cared, they could do it. And some other kids were saying they couldnt miss the ONE FREAKING DAY of school, which is the lamest excuse ive ever heard. It will just be unfair if I dont get to go because the people in the choir are stupid. Its my last year to be able to go, and we didnt get to go Montreal last year, which was s huge letdown. Nevertheless, I am tres tres excited at the prospect!!

now lets see..is there any other news?? well, the finger I sprained last Sunday is still painful, purple, and gross, but whatev.

feeling: excited/disappointed about both prom and Musicfest
listening to: Goodnight Goodnight - Hot Hot Heat.

Why do I feel like I just dont belong??

I dont know why, but lately it seems I just dont fit in anywhere.. It really makes no sense, but when I'm with friends of mine, its like I'm not included in the conversation, and I just seem so out of place. I dont get it. I dont think I changed drastically, and I dont think my friends did either....Perhaps I am simply crazy.

feeling: out of sorts
Listening to: We Rise Again.

Today was a good day. I got three major ego boosts at three different things that I luuurve to do. And I know that youre thinking, oh great, the one thing Brianna needs.. but really guys, I've changed! I'm really not that sarcastic conceited jerkface you all knew and loved. Now i'm like, nice and whatnot. And because most of the ego wasnt real anyway, that wasnt hard to drop. So anyways, in jazz choir today I casually mentioned to Mrs Sinclair that my mom was considering letting me take voice lessons, and she was like, " I'd LOVE to be able to teach you! I hope i can fit you into my schedule.." She was tres excited, moreso then when friends of mine began voice. So yeah, that made me feel pretty good. I was slightly inesecure about my voice yesterday because jazz choir was performing at Upper Island Honors Concert, and there were these girls who had freaking amazing voices.. and I was afraid that I'll never be that good. But then I realized they've had years of training, so theres hope for me yet.
My second ego boost was today in art. I'm exceptionally close to being finished my gigantic banner for the downtown contest, which is all things GREAT and WONDERFUL because i've been slaving over it for over 20 hours, which meant working during my spare blocks and after school. Anyway, I got tons of compliments on it today, and several people have commented that they hope mine wins. Although that is fairly unlikely, because I am no terrific painter. My design was much better when done in pencil crayon.

Thirdly was this afternoon at rugby practice. I did really well at al lthe drills, and I'm not floundering around in the mud ( this is metaphorical, as I never *actually* floundered in mud) being confused about whats going on. We did a bunch of drills on tackling real people, not dummies, and as it turns out, I am best tackler on my team due to my freakish, montrous strength. Its not even that i'm the biggest on my team either ( cause i'm not). I got a bunch of praise from my coaches, which is highly unusual, as they usually shout out things i've done wrong, not right, and I get to be like, the main forward when it comes to game time.

I just adore doing things full out, you know? I'm such the extremist. I just dont believe in doing anything half-assed. Sing as loud as you can, act as dramatic as possible, and tackle with every inch of your strength. You guys probably know what I'm talking about, right? It feels so good to do your BEST at something.

Anyways, back to rugby, I have my very first game this Wednesday all the way out in Comox, and instead of being scared, I am so PUMPED! I called my dad and left a message on his machine to see if he'll come see me. I mean, Comox is only a ferry ride away from Powell River, and now that my dad is retired, it shouldnt be a huge deal for him to come and watch me play. I left it to kinda short notice though. Oh well. If he doesnt come, it will just be one more thing he's missed. Its not like there isnt a huge list of them already. Three years worth. *Sigh* ...

I have to go for now, but I might write some more later. I have to watch the BAchelor with my mom because... I am cool.

listening to: man for all season - Robbie Williams
Feeling: extremely content

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion 90% Stability 66% Orderliness 63% Empathy 50% Interdependence 30% Intellectual 30% Mystical 90% Artistic 90% Religious 10% Hedonism 10% Materialism 90% Narcissism 83% Adventurousness 56% Work ethic 36% Self absorbed 56% Conflict seeking 50% Need to dominate 83% Romantic 56% Avoidant 30% Anti-authority 83% Wealth 43% Dependency 30% Change averse 36% Cautiousness 63% Individuality 76% Sexuality 83% Peter pan complex 43% Physical security 56% Food indulgent 50% Histrionic 83% Paranoia 70% Vanity 83% Hypersensitivity 43% Female cliche 76%

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quiz results

Wackiness: 190/100
Rationality: 66/100
Constructiveness: 136/100
Leadership: 94/100

You are a WRCL--Wacky Rational Constructive Leader. This makes you a Golden God.You think fast and have a smart mouth, and you are a hoot to your friends and razorwire to your enemies. You hold a grudge like a brass ring. You crackle. Although you have a leader's personality, you often choose not to lead, as leaders stray too far from their audience. You probably weren't very popular in high school--the joke's on them!
You may be a rock star.

So I'm Still sick. I'm thinking its maybe about time to go see a doctor.. But I hate doctors. I like to just get over illnesses on my own, but this has been going on for about three weeks, and its driving me crazy. I still cant sing properly, which is just about the worst thing in the world for someone like me. It'll seem like i'm getting better for a day or two, and then i'll go back to being sick enough to stay home. This is probably due to the fact that I havent slowed down the rest of my life enough to let my systems fix themselves. Thats why i'm kinda taking the rest of the weekend off. I didnt make any plans, and I'm going to hang around at home. I will probably get excruciatingly bored, but its all in the name of good health.
Last night was really great, but I had a bad day beforehand. It seemed like a lot of people were mad at me for various things that I didnt think should have been a big deal, and it really sucked. Like, Rosie got really mad and upset because I didnt invite her to the fifties party. This, i didnt understand at all. People always comment how they like smaller parties better sometimes, so I decided I would only invite about 20 people, and then made the list. This means that inevitably some of our friends would be cut, right? yet, Rosie took it as a personal insult that she wasnt one of the 20. Well, you cant ALWAYS be one of the 20! Like, the last couple of smaller things we did, Shakespeare party, Princess party, pirate party, etc.. she was always invited to. And so it just happened that this time she wasnt. Why am I always getting blamed for excluding people?? Doesnt anybody realize that nobody can be invited to everything all the time! And if people just freaking made their own plans, they could invite whoever they bloody want. Oh man, I didnt mean that to turn into a rant, but it just BUGS me. I mean, this is more than just Rosie getting upset for not being invited, it happens with other people, and on other occasions. Somebody else can make the invite list next time, and it can be THEIR job to make sure everyone knows about it. And somebody else can play hostess. Maybe then someobdy will appreciate the effort I always put into making sure everyone is having a good time.

And then for some reason Gareth got mad at me for "excluding" people too, and said he was tired of me excluding HIS friends from things, and he was being completely ridiculous. He acted really weird towards me the rest of the night too. Kind of distant and cold. It was odd, and I didnt like it. But of course he would never come right out and say whats on his mind. baaaaah.

Then at school I was outside on the benches with Barbara and Gareth, when Alleah randomly walked out and sat with us. I casually mentioned to her this tidbit of something.. i dont really remember what, and she started FREAKING OUT at me. Like, im not even joking, she just yelled at me for like 5 minutes, onthe weirdest things which really made no sense, and she kept changing the subject of her anger. Finally I was just like, I cant take this anymore, and walked away, Barbara following closely behind.

So that was day, anyway. Later though, was the fifties party at Lauras, which I was looking forward to immensley! I dressed up in my brown and pink dress, and put my hair up and everything, and went to Lauras around 6. Me, Mel, and Tim helped set up for the party, and ate fake hamburgers, and then hula hooped like mad because Lauras mom had bought two of them for us. It was great, because never before was I ever able to hula hoop at ALL and then all of a sudden i could do it brilliantly. I ended up hula hooping for most of the night actually, cause im weird that way. So we had a Swell old time dancing to fifties tunes, giving each other fifties names ( like Peggy Sue, or Skip) making ice cream floats, and just hanging around. It was really great. Sometimes smaller parties ARE better. Around 12-12:30 most people left, but Barbara, Llowyn, Mel, and I stayed chatting with Laura, and then Laura went to bed and we all stayed for a while anyways. It was really nice, because I rarely ever get to talk to Barbara and Llowyn. Then around 1 or 2 they left, and me and Mel went to bed and talked for an hour more.

So now i'm going to do a lot of nothing, fun for me.

Mwahaha

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